Winters: Cycle 267: The Crowdsourced Update

In recent news: The Federation marked this cycle with the traditional friendly game of SRV-League between the liberal and republican wings to mark the celebration of July the 4th, a classic holiday from long ago. Despite tough talk, the Republican team lost by a single point scored in overtime. Asked on the sidelines Felicia Winters had this to say: “Zachary’s team played well, and they had us in the first half, but we pulled ourselves together and really hauled hard for the win.” Hudson replied “If you thought that was good, just wait until next year when we mop the floor with you” then made a double finger gun motion. The representatives are expected to have a party line vote tomorrow on creating a commission to probe the effectiveness of the funds spent on the accompanying picnic as nobody ate the 4000kg of tofurkey burgers, and all the best pop was gone in the first half hour leaving only banana flavored sports drinks.

Elsewhere in the galaxy: Once again, there was a mix-up at the pamphlet distribution center for Antal's New Utopia League, resulting in the entire warehouse being jettisoned into space. In a rush to replace the pamphlets, they were accidentally replaced with DVD copies of Cats. This is now the new Utopian Vision. Archon Delaine was quoted saying, "They can keep that." Mahon's Alliance launched an investigation into where the recording was acquired, as it was previously believed to have been destroyed in the "Great Plague Fire Purge" at the end of the year 2020. Sirius Corp. has launched a scientific study into how these old-earth creatures were able to defecate without buttholes.

This high-quality update wasn't brought to you by u/Bullet_Bait. Instead, it was brought to you by members of the FLC community on FUC Discord, and merely compiled by Bullet. Thank you Cmdr Dan Stone (In Recent News) and Cmdr NeedsMoreLasers (The Antal section of Elsewhere in the Galaxy).

Article Source
https://www.reddit.com/r/EliteWinters/comments/hotkz3/cycle_267_the_crowdsourced_update/